As I look back to my last post, I find it interesting that even though I haven't been posting all along (too much life lately) I've still been on that same path. I'm still working on developing consistency with resolution 1, but I've been really working on developing a habit of prayer. This has been inspired by my Study of Nehemiah. I've decided to share it with you here in hopes that you may be encouraged as well.
This will all make a lot more sense if you jump over and read Nehemiah 1 real quick.
Here's my version:
After Babylon came in and took the Israelites captive, Nehemiah found himself as cupbearer to the king. There were some travelers from Judah that came through. Nehemiah couldn't help but ask about home. He was devastated to hear what was left. He was remorseful for the sins of His people and He pleaded with God through fasting and prayer to remember His people and to restore the nation of the Lord, recalling the promise of the Lord.
Nehemiah knew what he had to do after all this fasting and prayer. It was nuts! He was a servant to the king. But God gave him a plan. Devine strategy… He had to ask the king something. He knew if he was going to be successful, God had to go before him. God had to move on the heart of the king. All of this knowing came from his time allowing God to console his brokenness. He fasted, knowing only God could satisfy his broken heart. He prayed, pleading with God to hear this prayer. "Give me peace, give me hope, show me what I can do to bring about restoration of YOUR people” I'm sure he prayed.
This is how I can learn from Nehemiah today!
God gave us emotions. He allows us to experience these, because they drive us to action.
Brokenness, helplessness, neediness, these things force us to the throne of God where we can find true peace. That peace often comes from an action plan, knowing where to go from this point. But sometimes we have to let those emotions swell in and take over so that we can freely give them to the Lord instead of stuffing them under a rug.
Tuesday was not a great day. I got some bad news from work and I was emotional! I went on a 6 mile walk with my husband, hoping that if I got tired enough, I wouldn't be so upset. And it worked! Kinda... it felt fake because those emotions are still peaking out from the rug every so often asking me what I'm going to do with the budget being so short two months in a row. How can I continue to make plans for the future? Why am I calm… I shouldn't be calm in this situation. I don't have a devine strategy. I don't know what I'm going to do. I have an idea, but I don't know how to make it work. But I never really let those emotions in. I never surrendered them to God in devastation with faith only knowing ONLY He can truly fix it. I just stuffed my feelings under the rug and said with a fake smile, it's ok, God will fix it… But I never really told him the problem or asked him to fix it.
What are you stuffing under the rug? Maybe it's time to find some real genuine peace!
