R-E-S-P-E-C-T

ok as promised a new post. Hopefully these will come more consistently because I got a laptop all to myself. No more sharing :)

Anyway so I work as a traveling nurse. I was making a long 4.5 hour commute today and listening to the book by the Duggar girls, Growing up Duggar. It's been so convicting not just in how I'm not where I should be in my relationship with God but also in the way I treat others and I think that stems from my relationship with God.

For example.. Lately when John (husband) does something I think is dumb I've been calling him silly names like "that's not how you do that, dork." I've felt the disrespectful tone and I keep thinking I need to stop doing that but then to have it spoken flat out what that is doing to him every time I let this dirty habit slip my lips, I'm embarrassed and full of remorse. That's the big growth spurt today. I'm working on developing consistency in my Jesus time too, but that's still VERY much a work in progress but I know diligence in this area will help me grow to speak more respectfully to my husband as well.

Communication

Sometimes this growth process is frustrating. I'm learning to have patience. Sometimes my feelings get hurt and before I react out of that hurt I'm discovering the importance of communicating that something has hurt my feelings and most of the time it was unintentional and he was trying to communicate something different. 

Then I stop to wonder is it pride when I declare " you hurt my feelings?" He rarely says I hurt his feelings, even on the days I am struggling to be respectful. So I'm left with two vague conclusions that maybe I should clarify with someone. Communication is important but sometimes it can come from pride so one must be careful not to compound the problem by communicating.

Day 1

I'm engaged!! I prayed and prayed for God to bring someone into my life to challenge me and help me grow in my pursuit of righteousness. God is faithful to answer our prayers! I have met the man of my dreams. Somehow having someone that close to you highlights all your weaknesses. Lately I've seen how disrespectful I can be.

Eph. 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands (esv)

Now if that isn't a call to respect I don't know what is. 

So today I choose to honor him. I'm honoring him by making God first in my life. I'm honoring him by thinking twice about my words. I'm honoring him by speaking his love language of words of encouragement. I've got work to do!