A time to pray

I found myself today realizing all the battles I've been struggling, not enough money, not enough time, not enough energy, etc. Have all significantly lessened as my husband has been able to help lighten these burdens for me. Having authorization to work in America obviously helps significantly. And I find myself at ease as he job hunts having full assurance that God is in control and he will have the right job soon. And so I find myself praying less the last few days because I'm not feeling so desperate or spent. Rather then fall into a pit of complacency I feel called to pursue God with a relentless passion. So then I was wandering in the book store for over an hour trying to decide how to purse God relentlessly when I have to driving problem pushing me. All the books seem to be focused on how to be pushed toward God. So I asked for help. Awkwardly. She gave me the book "Hearing God's Voice" by Henry and Richard Blackaby, which I have yet to start. I also walked away with  "21 Most Effective Prayers of the Bible," which is a journal/book. I started that today, more about that later, but it's good so far. My thought there is that I have weakened in prayer in the last few years as I've struggled through understanding what prayer is supposed to look like after having some decidedly unbiblical examples of prayer in my life. Then I thought about fasting, then blew it off. Then thought about it again, then ignored the thought. Finally I thought I'll talk to my husband about it and he'll say no. Well I talked to him about it and he said it sounded like a good idea. So now we're gearing up to Daniel fast start tomorrow. Ironically (God's never really ironic) church tonight was the pastor calling us to a fast. So all in all it's time to grow. It's time to become relentless. It's time to desire God and pursue holiness.

So Day 1 of this prayer journey is about Abraham's servants prayer as he searched for a wife for Isaac. His prayer: Make me successful today. So where do I need to apply this prayer today? I think towards the fast God is clearly calling me to. I struggle to finish fasts strong. I often make excuses and cut it short or change it to make it easier. I know there are great challenges to finishing this fast strong. Doing a Daniel fast while living in a hotel will be difficult, but today I pray, God make me successful.

On a final note, I'm giving up TV and movies while we fast and with that time I'm intending to pick the guitar back up and work on the sermon series God has been leading me towards preparing for the day when I am leading in ministry.

So I guess those are new years resolutions. It wasn't really my intention to make any but I guess it's kinda what they are. I'm excited about all this year holds. I'm excited to see what God is going to do in our lives!!

Immigration

This waiting game for John's immigration is getting so old. I feel like a broken record praying over and over that today the papers that allow him to get a job will come. It's like we're stuck in this phase of life and EVERYTHING is waiting for him to have a stable job. We're barely making it financially. I'm working 3 jobs and I'm exhausted. I'm scared that I'm going to get into nursing school this summer and June will come and I won't be able to start because he still won't be working. I'm scared we're going to be stuck in this season of life forever. It feels like forever already because he was told originally he'd get his working papers 6-10 weeks after submission... back in May! It's one of those things that we can't even really proactively wait. Johns has looked at jobs over and over but what good does it do without the papers allowing him to apply. We can't afford for him to get his driver's license which would be a helpful step, but until he's working we cant afford the class we can't afford the increase in insurance. It's just so frustrating he's not immigrating from a country that's commonly trying to come to the US. He has no record. He's done everything by the book and yet this process has been so completely complex for no real reason.

As I was praying about all this this morning I told God I'm changing tactics I am going to now be the pesky traveler knocking in the middle of the night for some bread (I might have that story a little off but you get the point) I'm going to ask over and over and over until my prayers are answered. Basically out of desperation. What else am I going to do? What else can I do?