A time to pray

I found myself today realizing all the battles I've been struggling, not enough money, not enough time, not enough energy, etc. Have all significantly lessened as my husband has been able to help lighten these burdens for me. Having authorization to work in America obviously helps significantly. And I find myself at ease as he job hunts having full assurance that God is in control and he will have the right job soon. And so I find myself praying less the last few days because I'm not feeling so desperate or spent. Rather then fall into a pit of complacency I feel called to pursue God with a relentless passion. So then I was wandering in the book store for over an hour trying to decide how to purse God relentlessly when I have to driving problem pushing me. All the books seem to be focused on how to be pushed toward God. So I asked for help. Awkwardly. She gave me the book "Hearing God's Voice" by Henry and Richard Blackaby, which I have yet to start. I also walked away with  "21 Most Effective Prayers of the Bible," which is a journal/book. I started that today, more about that later, but it's good so far. My thought there is that I have weakened in prayer in the last few years as I've struggled through understanding what prayer is supposed to look like after having some decidedly unbiblical examples of prayer in my life. Then I thought about fasting, then blew it off. Then thought about it again, then ignored the thought. Finally I thought I'll talk to my husband about it and he'll say no. Well I talked to him about it and he said it sounded like a good idea. So now we're gearing up to Daniel fast start tomorrow. Ironically (God's never really ironic) church tonight was the pastor calling us to a fast. So all in all it's time to grow. It's time to become relentless. It's time to desire God and pursue holiness.

So Day 1 of this prayer journey is about Abraham's servants prayer as he searched for a wife for Isaac. His prayer: Make me successful today. So where do I need to apply this prayer today? I think towards the fast God is clearly calling me to. I struggle to finish fasts strong. I often make excuses and cut it short or change it to make it easier. I know there are great challenges to finishing this fast strong. Doing a Daniel fast while living in a hotel will be difficult, but today I pray, God make me successful.

On a final note, I'm giving up TV and movies while we fast and with that time I'm intending to pick the guitar back up and work on the sermon series God has been leading me towards preparing for the day when I am leading in ministry.

So I guess those are new years resolutions. It wasn't really my intention to make any but I guess it's kinda what they are. I'm excited about all this year holds. I'm excited to see what God is going to do in our lives!!

In a year

So much has changed in 13 months. I'm officially a wife now. I'm a nurse now. John and I have been through so much. Marriage has not been easy for us with all the immigration struggles and the financial struggles that come with it. It's worth it though, so worth it. 

Looking at where we are now, I still find i have so much room for growth as a wife. I snap at my husband sometimes, I forget to "fill his love tank" and I struggle sometimes with leaving behind independence for co-dependence. I haven't been the godly wife I've hoped to be because I've been absorbed in just trying to pay the bills.

So first, I'm striving to be a better wife. I'm striving to submit my life to the authority of Christ so I can better meet the needs of my husband.

Secondly, we have begun intentionally preparing to someday soon start trying for a baby. This will be after the immigration fight is over, but we need to prepare with regards to my health and financially, because whoa kids cost lots of money!!

So I'm back to document these journeys. Often times they'll look the same but sometimes they are distinctly different.

Sunday I start with a new exercise program. I have two goals prior to pregnancy I hope to meet fitness wise, lose 25 lbs and run 5 miles. So here we go.